Choosing how you show up
One of the things I tell my clients is that you may not like what is happening to you, but you get to like how you show up. Many times when I process trauma, so much regret and energy is focused on what they didn't do, how they didn't protect themselves, how they gave away their power. This is especially true in an abusive situation. Liking how you show up focuses the energy and empowerment on you, not the situation. It is empowering because many times what we show is the only thing we can control. We may not like how our boss is treating us, but we can be proud of how we handled it. We may not like getting a divorce, but we get to like how we show up during it. Choosing how you show up makes you think about your values, how congruent we want to be in situations we don't like. We can't choose what happens to us, but we get to choose our responses and our behaviors.
Lost my wallet today. There was a time when bad things happen when I would rail at God and say " Don't do this! " "Be like that!" or my mind would race through the repercussions of lost items, mistakes etc. Usually it would find me 'cursing' under my breath going "Fine!! Be like that!!!" It would be as if I was talking to a bully.